Do you teach your children to appreciate you?

Most parents I believe want to give their children the very best. It is most evident when I personally know so many capable women who chose to quit their wonderful career to become stay home mommies. As stay home mom's we don't earn a salary, i.e.no income. Father has to work harder as he becomes the sole breadwinner of the family.


But how do you react when your child starts to take you or even his care takers for granted? E.g. Tells you during a meal that the food you prepared or provided is not what he/she wants to eat and then started sulking, throwing a big fuss? Do you just take it as a pinch of salt? Do you just tell yourself that it's ok coming from a child because he/she is still too young to undestand. Thus no point taking it too seriously? For me and Wilson, NO WAY! Eventhough a young kid, I believe taking things for granted should never be encouraged. By not stopping him/her, we will be encouraging that behaviour. It is never too young to correct a wrong behaviour and I know it takes loads of patience as you may have to repeat countless times before they get it. But by repeating, he/she will grow to understand as they matures and not bring along such attitudes into adulthood just because it is never corrected. I make it a point to let him know that we are his parents and we do our best to give him the best but never compare us with anyone and better appreciate what he already has. If you tell me to slog quietly for my kids and still be happy that they take me as long as they are happy and smart, I won't. I feel that children these days are enjoying far too good a life and they will loose sight of how such good life has come about. They need to learn to appreciate their parents and people around them. I definitely do not want my child be blind to to it as he grows.

Our Children and our Asian values

As much as most educated parents today read tonnes of literature these days (mostly written by Western experts) way before the first child is even born, do we ever stop and analyse if all the methods suggested are in fact applicable to us?

Personally, Wilson and I were guilty of that at one point in our parenting journey I am very sure. As we apply these methods, we also see the results. Not totally what we would want actually. As we always do, we stop and think through and realised that well, perhaps, we are Asians afterall. We need to inculcate Asian values in our kid. As far as we want our child to be outspoken which is very much a needed skill these days, we do want him to understand when he can do that and when he should not. Western culture tends to promote 'speaking your mind'. Sometimes, I find that we have to do that with some respect and tact in Asian culture in order not to hurt other's feelings. That I feel is part of EQ. Next, we also have to bear in mind always to respect the elders. I am old fashion in that sense and I always feel that it is a value to impart to my kids. Then comes filial piety which is on top of our list in Asian culture.

Kids these days tend to think they know the world. But I always tell Ethan, 'You are just a child and you don't know enough yet'. I am not afraid that his ego be dampened. I know he is a confident child. But sometimes, confident children get too egoistic and that is not good. They must learn to take criticisms. I heard from time to time that children question their parents, 'how come you can point your fingers and me and I can't?' 'Why are you talking to me loudly and I can't?'. Well, to an Asian parent like me, the answer is simple and to the point 'Because I am your mother and I act so because you  have crossed boundaries'. I was worried too when I had to act like that for the first time, but I thought about how my parents had upbring us and see what I am today. I am still a very confident person. Some kids just need a wake up call from time to time.
I question myself, if I blindly follow the Western literature on the shelves, what will I end up with? Can I accept my child talking back at me and wanting to make his own choices all the time at a young age? Honestly, I can't. Why? Because I am an Asian parent. I believe, there are alot of genuinely good suggestions offered by Western educators and early childhood experts. But these methods and suggestions aren't cross cultural I feel. I should be selective and perhaps tweak whenever needed.

Ethan's Froggy project

Ethan's kindergarten has put all their focus for the 1st 2 terms learning all about frogs. From projects to crafts, to excursions, it's all about frogs. One of the projects requires parents to be involved with their child in making a frog out of any materials for their June exhibition.

We loved the idea and started brainstorming. We all decided to make a frog out of clay. Ethan suggested making a Banded Bull Frog which he has seen during his excursion. In fact, I am rather amazed how much he now knows about this amphibian. He named be so many types of frogs that I have never even heard of. So he described how the Banded Bull frog looks like and the colour it is suppose to be. He said it's a brownish dark green with orange stripes across its body. Wilson did the sculpturing of the frog with some light baking clay. Ethan was in charged of painting it the way it should look like and I stuck on it's eyes and took photos.

Lego Ninjago

As a child, I am never really interested in blocks. As such, Lego too has never strike me as something really fun. Well, I was obviously quite wrong. After helping and teaching Ethan how to go about reading the isntructions and making some really complex but nice Lego pieces, I realised how interesting it can be. It requires the person to have alot of focus and patience. It also develops the fine motor skills of children. We have decided that it is one of those toys worth investing in apart from wooden toys.

Like many kids around the world, Ethan is hooked on Lego Ninjago. He started with smaller projects and the latest is this beautiful junk boat that is suppose to be able to fly in the the Ninjago series. It is the most complex he has built so far. The manual comes in 2  60 page booklets. He completed book 1 and Wilson had to help him with book 2 as that was too challenging for his age. It's indeed a very nice piece.

A belated Mother's Day Post

This year I celebrated Mother's day in a slightly more special way. I cooked and I baked!!

I made two separate Mother's day cake this year. One for my MIL and the other for my mom.  For my MIL it was a Durian Mousse cake. It was delicious though my docoration could imporve further in future. For my mom, I made her a Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake. It was yummy too. Here is a glimspe of them both. Now I am planning for Father's Day!

Our recent trip to Korea and my honest opinion

I was all excited to visit Seoul. The Korea culture seems to be so addictive everywhere, including Europe. I am really eager to know why this is so. I am never a fan of Korean dramas in the first place no matter how many friends out there are so drawn to them. I find them too romantic to be true and to a point mushy and meaningless. Yah, it's just me. I am not such a romantic...keke. I would rather spend my time watching cooking programs, discovery channels, selected reality programs. Next, I never like Kimchi which is such a staple in Korea and I cannot tell you how many people I know love it. Anyway, I was still eager to check it all out. Afterall, our experience with Koreans here in Singapore has been pretty pleasant. Perhaps I have missed something sooooo good, so out of this world.

All the excitement and hype then comes the anti-climax! Well, I was overall disappointed with my experience there :(. To make it simple and short, here's why:

- Traffic conditions are bad. Jams and jams.
- Most drivers do not stop for you at Zebra crossings. You'll have to wait and find an almost always dangerous opportunity to cross.
- Some cars don't seem to follow the arrow directions at small side roads.
- People there aren't very friendly. It's not easy to ask for directions not just because we don't speak each other's language. The manners are rather hostile. One young lady, looked at me and walked off when I asked her for directions without even smiling or using gestures to indicate she can't help. One sales assistant just brushed me aside while I was browsing her rack of clothings because she wanted to search for something for another customer. - Twice our queues were cut by 9 to 10 year olds at amusement parks and it seems to be a norm there. Ethan chose a bumper car and was already getting in and then another kid (about 8 years old) came about and insisted on having that car. FINE!
- Cleanliness - nothing exceptional. We are as good.
- Young service staff are not as friendly as Singaporeans most of the time.

OK...so much for the downside which was a HUGE disappointment. There are also some better experiences with the older generation in Korea.

From my experience, I realised that the older generation ie. those in there 50s and above, are so much more amicable. They are more willing to help, smile and are warm. From asking for directions to service staff, I must say they are the ones that saved the reputation for their country.

I gather that the younger generation there is somewhat arrogant. They are doing very well and are almost self-sufficient as a country. So many people from all over the world are crazy about their culture. To me, no big deal. This is truly my honest opinion. I would return to most of the countries I have been to so far but Korea will not be on top of my list :). Nevertheless, Ethan enjoyed himself as much everywhere he has been :).

Salted egg yolk with Prawns

Salted egg yolks are one of my favourites though I know how sinful it is to have them and therefore I do not cook with them very often. But some days I just love to have them with my other favourite, PRAWNS! So Prawns + Salted egg yolks = can it get anymore sinful than this?? Well well, sometimes, we just need to indulge and forget it. It is a dish my dad introduced me to. In fact, I have never tasted from any restaurants before. My dad described it to me and I went online to do the rest of the searches. There are indeed many versions. I tried making them several times with variations until they look more like what they are suppose to be in the pictures and my dad's descriptions. But at the end of the day, it has to taste good :). So here is the recipe:

Salted egg yolk and prawns
Ingredients:
- 8 tiger prawns (deviened)
- corn starch
- 4 salted egg yolks (pre-cooked) - mashed them up
- 2 tbsp of chopped fresh basil OR curry leaves for a slightly different fragrant
- a knob of butter
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- 2 cloves of garlic minced
- some cooking cream or evaporated milk
- Garlic pepper to taste
- a little salt and sugar
- Chilli padi (optional)

Directions:
- Heat up some oil
- Dry the prawns and coat with corn starch
- Deep fry them (becareful not to overcook. We still need to stir fry a little later witht he sauce)
- Drained with kitchen towels
- Heat up olive oil and butter in a wok
- Saute minced garlic till fragrant
- Put in the salted egg yolks and continue to stir till it gets a little foamy
- Add some cream or evaporated milk to dilute the  mixture just a little
- Add Basil or curry leaves
- Add the prawns
- Add garlic pepper, salt and sugar (all to your own taste - so add a little at a time)
-  Stir fry for about 2 mins till prawns just cooked and coated with sauce.

Paper frog race

Wilson was experimenting with a variety of ways to fold a paper frog that can jump the furthest. We had a good time frog racing ;).

Cooking - A life skill to introduce our kids to

Ethan helping me to prepare the oreo crust for the cheesecake

Ethan helping to pluck bean sprouts

By having Ethan to help out with cooking and preparation, I hope to inspire him to learn some basics of cooking. In fact, he is very keen to help at times and will even ask me how to begin cooking some dishes.

I feel that cooking is a very much needed skill that we should have. Just knowing the basics is good enough. I believe one would definitely be in need of this skill one day, male or female. Watching my mom cook and helping her with some simple preparation when I was young did indeed help when I started to actually learn how to cook myself. It is definitely not an easy skill to master if you want to cook good food. It takes many trials and errors and determination. But I feel that knowing the basics is a great headstart even if one is not that interested in cooking eventually. For example, how to cook rice, porridge, noddles, fry an egg, fry simple greens, steam a fish are some really essential skills to have. So it is never too early to introduce to and equip our kids with this basic life skill that they would appreciate in future.

Pork Fiesta!!

Babi Pongteh (Braised Pork Belly with Fermented Soy Beans)

Bovril Pork Ribs

I first tasted babi pongteh at Chilli Padi, a Nonya restaurant along Choo Chiat Road. It's delicious! I never liked pork belly, but when it is cooked this way, its simply irresistable! I decided to dig through some recipes and try it out. It is simple to cook and always makes everyone happy.

A friend once told me that in Malacca, Babi Pongteh is lighter in colour. I did some research and yes, there are two schools. Some add cinammon sticks, tamarind but I still prefer this simpler method.

Here is how it is done:

Babi Pongteh

Ingredients:

-650gms of pork belly (you can use tweeh bak if you like less fat but trust me, you need some fat. Don't ever cook babi pongteh with lean meat.
-2 Potatoes or you can use bamboo shoots
-2 medium size onions
-7 cloves of garlic
-2 tbsp of tau cheo
-1.5 to 2 tsp of sugar
- Dark soy sauce for the colour
- White Pepper to taste ( I like to have more as it really enhance the flavours)
- Oil
- Water
- Scallions OR Cilantro to garnish

Directions:

- Cut pork belly in about 1.5 inch chuncks and rub in some corn starch
-Pound all grind Onions, Garlic and Tau Cheo into a fine paste
- Heat up oil (about 3 tbsp)
- In medium heat, stir fry the paste till fragrant
-Add the pork belly, sugar, pepper
- Stir fry for about 2 mins
- Add water till pork belly are half covered and allow to simmer for about 45 mins to 1 hour (until the pork belly is tender)
- The sauce should thicken a little when it is ready to serve. Skim off excess oil before serving.
- Garnish with scallions or cilantro

** I like to eat this with plain porridege. :)

Next, I also explore with Bovril Pork ribs yesterday. If was yummy. I like Bovril when I was a kid. My mom usually let us have it with porridge. I never liked Marmite. But to be honest, I have forgotten how they both taste like after so many years..hahaha. So it was refreshing for both Wilson and I to taste Bovril again in a different way. Moreover, that was the first time we introduced Bovril to Ethan and he liked it. I mean, who won't. I wonder why our parents never thought they are too salty for young kids to just spread on bread or go with porridge. Oh well, but we survived anyway :).

So here is how it is done after researching several recipes (using mostly Marmite though):


Bovril Pork Ribs

Ingredients:

For the marinate (Marinate for about 30 mins):

-  1/2 dozen of pork ribs
-  White Pepper
-  1 tbsp rice wine
- 1 tbsp of Bovril
- 1 egg white


For the sauce:

- 2 tbsp of Bovril (red label)
- 1 tbsp of tomatoe ketchup
- 1 tbsp of Worschestershire sauce
- 2 tbsp of sugar
- 1 tbsp of rice wine
-  About 120 ml of water (equals to 1 rice bowl or slightly more)

Other ingredients:

- Scallions finely chopped

- Oil for deep frying
- Corn starch for frying

Directions:

- Heat up cooking oil
- Coat the ribs all round with corn starch
- Fry till golden
- Put ribs on paper towels to drain off excess oil
- Prepare the sauce in a clean pan/wok
- stir the sauce mixture well
- Heat up pan and pour in the mixture
- Cook the sauce at high heat till it is thickened
- Toss in the fried ribs and thoroughly coat them with the sauce
- If sauce is too thick add a little more water to allow simmering to further soften the meat for about 5 mins. By then, sauce should have thicken again.
- Sauce should be coated entirely on the ribs before serving
- Sprinkle chopped scallions on top for garnishing

How being a SAHM has changed me

Being a SAHM or I should say WAHM has made so much changes in my life. If I am still working fulltime, I believe my life will not be as fulfilling in so many ways. Not only have I cultivated a very strong bond with my child, I have also built a closer relationship with my in laws, especially my MIL who stays with us. I get to do alot of things with my child which I will not be able to if I am a working mom. I also get to explore more in depth into my personal interests which I otherwise may not have even discovered.

Staying home has given me the opportunity to discover and fully utilise my creativity in crafting. I have since started a small online business for my crafts on a leisure basis. It is not my utmost priority of course. Afterall, what is the purpose of being a SAHM? My child of course.

It is also being a SAHM that motivated me to pick up cooking. Since Ethan's birth I have decided I will be fully responsible for his development right down to food. That is one reason I never wanted a helper. I do not want to become dependent on anyone. I want to experience what my mom went through bringing 3 of us up and she had no help. She was amazing! In order to do that it also means I have to be the one cooking for Ethan. I have never stopped since. I do not want to rely on my MIL. I only seek her advise at times. The reason being, I do not want to end up pointing fingers at my MIL or a helper for whatever that is not in line with what I want for my child, especially when it comes to discipline. I don't think it is fair for them either. I am the mother, I am responsible for him. If I choose to work, I shouldn't have too high expectations of the caregiver. Should just appreciate. But I didn't want to take a chance either. I also want my MIL to have more freedom rather than being tied down to taking care of her grandchild. Afterall, grandparents are to enjoy their grandchildren and not slog over them.

I never regreted my choice and of course, I am blessed with a supportive husband who is also very capable. Otherwise, it would not have been possible. Thank you God for everything - my child, my husband, my family, my pets and most of all, a pair of useful hands and brain :).

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Painting at Scoop Of Art

Making a Christmas tree with pasta and paint.

Salted egg prawns with butter and basil

MIL's Roasted Pork Belly

Ingredients:

1kg pork belly

1/2 bottle of dou lu (the one in picture above)

1/2 a big lime

Coarse salt

This is not complex but definitely need oven. Get a pork belly. Poke lotsa holes on the pork skin thoroughly (this is an impt step) then marinate with 'Dou Lu' for abt 1 hour. For Dou lu, we used about 1/2 a bottle of the above to 1 kg of pork.

Rub the skin with lime and then cover the skin with lotsa coarse salt. Put in oven and roast at 250 deg celsius for an hour. Turn over during last 10 mins. Done! Gently scrape away the coarse salt on the skin. The meat is juicy and the skin sooooooooo crispy. Better than any I have tasted!

A family favourite - Fermented Black Bean Pork Ribs

This is always a hit, anywhere, anytime. My whole family loves it. My mom was the one who taught me how to cook it. My in laws are in awe with it. They all love not just the ribs but actually the sauce is the star of this dish. Compare with the nonya soy bean paste pork ribs (my moms recipe too), this is slightly more complex in terms of ingredients.

Here's how it is done:

Ingredients:
- about 600g of pork ribs
- 2 inches of minced ginger (mince till paste is best)
- 7 cloves of minced garlic  (mince till paste is best)
- 1 to 1.5 tbsp of black bean paste (rinse first and then grind to paste. If the beans comes with salt in the packaging, be sure to rinse off)
- 2 red chilli - diced
- spring onions diced
- 1/2 tsp of dark soya sauce

The vinegrette for the sauce:
- 2 tsp of oyster sauce
- 1 tsp of dark vinegar
- 1 tsp of sugar
- 2 tbsp of rice wine
- 1/2 tbsp of sesame oil
** Mix well

Marinate the pork with:
- 1.5 tbsp of light soya sauce
- 1 tsp of sugar
- 1 tbsp of rice wine
-  1/2  tbsp Corn starch
** Marinate for at least 20 to 30 mins

Directions:

- Saute the garlic and ginger mince with some oil till fragrant - medium heat.
- Add the black bean paste (taste your paste first, to determine how much more or less you prefer). Stir fry for about a minute.
- Add the pork ribs and make sure you toss the paste around it till all coated.
- Add the chilli and spring onions (leave some spring onions for garnishing)
- Pour in the vinegrette coat the pork ribs with it.
- Add some water to make sure the ribs are just half covered so that it can simmer in the sauce.
- Add dark soya sauce for a slightly darker colour to the dish. Taste to see if you need abit more sweetness at this point. If so, add some sugar.
- Simmer for about 20 - 30 mins on low heat. I prefer to simmer longer to ensure the meat is tender.
- Transfer to steam when you are about to serve for another 25 mins. Garnish with some spring onion before serving.

Cheesecake - Bake or No bake

When it comes to cheese cakes, I have always made baked ones, including the Oreo Cheesecake that Ethan and Wilson loves.

Just a few days back I decided to try a no-bake cheesecake, Jelly Heart Cheesecake. It got eaten up before I can take a picture of it though it was about 90% successful. The taste was good, but my jelly layer was too thin.  My boy as usual was my greatest fan. He ate the most. Personally, I still prefer a baked cheesecake because the texture is totally different. After having my baked Oreo, both my son and mother-in-law didn't quite like the no bake Oreo that my sis-in-law bought last evening. They said the baked one has a better flavour and texture which I totally agree. So I guess, no more no-bake cheese cakes for my family since not many like it. I will continue to explore with more baked ones...hahaaha

Creamy Garlic and butter mussels

This is one of my favourite ways of cooking nussels. When it comes to seafood, I must say I usually favour western ways of cooking them. Somehow, the ingredients used simply brings out the natural flavours of the food. I finally found the right recipe for it and it definitely needs white wine, lots of garlic and butter. Basil and some Italian seasoning will also enhace the flavours. Some and milk and thickening cream makes it richer too.The sauce was simply delicious.

Paper Soccer - A childhood toy that Wilson made for himself

Children these days are very fortunate to have a variety of toys to choose from. Back in our days, we had alot of DIY toys instead. We had to use our imagination and creativity more intensely than the children today. However, we are also trying to incorporate that into Ethan's childhood by showing him how to make toys that are functional. While I handsewn most of the clothings for my dolls and even made a doll house out of cardboard boxes, Wilson made his own football game. This was exactly what he did with Ethan over the weekend and we all had fun building it and playing with it. All we needed was paper and cardboard and some colour pencils and scissors.

Breakfast or Dessert - French Toast with a twist

Ethan requested for French toast this morning for breakfast. Since I bought some almonds last evening, I decided to try this recipe instead of the usual French Toast we make at home. So we had almond and cinnamon French Toast for breakfast this morning - adapted from Ina Garten's idea. I ommited the orange liqueur and orange zest she added. Instead I just added milk, vanilla, cinnamon and sugar (or maple syrup will be nice too) to the eggs and pan fried the toast with almonds. Top with some strawberries and icing sugar, it tasted really nice. The almonds and strawberries all came together on the toast. This can be a dessert too! :)

Our Aquarium is up!!

Wilson loves to keep fishes since he was young. In fact like me, he loves pets. From birds to fish to dogs, terrapins, rabbits and hamsters, they were all our childhood pet friends. The love for animals is one of our mutual attraction I believe :). We also wanted to cultivate in Ethan, a compassion for these animal friends. To treat them as family once we decide to have them as pets because they depend on us.

Overtime, we are glad that Ethan is indeed very thoughtful towards his pets especially our dog Phoebe. In fact, he was very emotional when my family dog, Samson passed on at 14 years old. he was at the vet with us and he was wailing away. Samson refused food and water for many days and couldn't even walk or get up. It was painful to see him suffer. Ethan felt it too. He can be such a sweet boy :).

Here is a peek at our lovely aquarium!